I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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