Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We have so much sex to catch up on
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize