The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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