Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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