go do what you do best...puke behind churches
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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