the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
