remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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