Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
