It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
