After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
