If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
