I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
