I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
