Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
