Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
