I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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