girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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