she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just want nice things and good sex
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
