Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
