Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
