you win again, gameday.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
