Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
