im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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