Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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