I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize