Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
