That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
