my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it glows. i had to have it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
