pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
