...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
