you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
