he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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