This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize