You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
