She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
