The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
