I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
