There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
