so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
