just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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