Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
