Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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