Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Still dying that you shit outside
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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