My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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