So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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