saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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