Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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