think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
