I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
