So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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