Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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