I want to make a zoo with you.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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