I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
