Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
how does that bad decision feel?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
