Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
