Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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