It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
