I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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