a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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