Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
