dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize