Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
