We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
