at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
