i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
