And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
