she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
