I am in a vortex of obligation.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
