There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
