I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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