It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
