whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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