i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
