Duck Duck Cougar?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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