bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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