I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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