When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
