It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
