Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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