he wants to bone in the snuggie
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
