I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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