"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
