Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
